Help, I Want a Divorce! What Can I Do?

“I want a divorce.” If this is something you’ve said or heard recently, you might be feeling low. You might also feel shame, sadness, disappointment, or even a sense of failure. That’s the case in the nearly half of all American marriages that end in divorce. Ending your marriage doesn’t have to be a terrible, long, or contentious process if you and your soon-to-be ex don’t want it to. Even difficult and painful issues like custody or asset division don’t have to lead to screaming fights or hurt feelings. If “I want a divorce” has become a common refrain in your household, it might be time to take some steps.

  1. Begin by making a list of questions to ask family law attorneys. You should speak to a few of them before hiring. Bring your list with you — you’ll be amazed at how quickly important questions can be forgotten during a meeting.
  2. Consider big issues like asset division. Who will get the house? Cars? Property or other items? If you and your spouse seem to agree here, maybe a collaborative divorce is a good choice. But talk to a lawyer of your own before giving up on litigation.
  3. Is there fault to be assigned? Courts look at issues like infidelity, deceit, abuse, addiction, and incarceration as issues that can earn the party who is not at fault a bigger settlement or other considerations. An honest assessment of your marriage may be difficult or stressful, but it is a vital part of the process.
  4. Despite how many times you declare, “I want a divorce,” to yourself, it’s best to be circumspect in what you say around your kids. What you tell them is your business, but be aware that they hear and see more than you suspect. Talking badly about your spouse is also frowned upon by the courts and could even impact custody.

Ending your marriage is not a small step. There are multiple ways to go about it, which is why it’s important to speak to someone who knows how it all works. A family law attorney who has worked cases like yours can be your best ally. Declaring, “I want a divorce,” is the first step in a long process. A lawyer on your side to help you navigate that process can reduce your stress level and increase the chances of getting the result you want. Get more information by contacting Espronceda Law at 210-504-1514.


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